On the 27’th of December 2008, the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) began a ground operation by the name of “Cast Lead” in Gaza. The operation began as a result of heavy rocket fire from Gaza on the civilian population in Israel.
There were 3 objectives for this operation :
1. To stop the firing of rockets on the civilian population.
2. To dismantle Hamas and prevent any form of rearming or regrouping.
3. To retrieve kidnapped soldier Gilad Shalit
After 22 days of fighting, the operation ended January 18’th, 2009 after the IDF called a one sided ceasefire. Neither of the 3 objectives were achieved in this operation. On January 21’st no Israeli presence was within the Gaza city limits.
The first 3 days of the operation were mostly conducted by the Air Force. Dropping an estimate of 5,400 bombs and “smart bombs” on specific targets. Killing an estimated 310 Palestinians and resistance fighters.
During these 3 days, then Commander of the southern forces Yoav Gallant changed the rules of engagement with Hamas. Citing that most Hamas leaders have 3 story houses. One underground basement, bunker where explosives and weapons would be stored, the main floor as a command office and on the top floor, where their family would live.
“They put the family on the top floor, because they knew we would not bomb them from above” said Gallant. Commander Gallant escalated rules of engagement and allowed the Air Force to strike heavily on Hamas members' structures and homes, leaving them with neither ammunition, center of operations…or family. Killing anyone on site. Competing with Hamas’s careless brutality.
The second phase of the operation began on December 29’th. Up to 10,000 reserve soldiers were called up and ordered to leave their personal lives and join the active forces. Coordinated attacks involved the Air Force, Navy and Army.
The fighting strategy involved heavy shelling and a slow paced advancement, clearing room-to-room, house-to-house whilst securing the perimeter. A difficult, narrow and extremely dangerous fighting strategy in the tight streets of Gaza.
This is where our tormented hero comes into play. Alex Aronsky was a 19 year old teenager drafted to the military as most young Israelis at the age of 18. Being designated and trained for the Armored Brigade as a gunner and designated marksman.
Little did Alex know that once finishing training, he would take part in “Cast Lead”.
What eventually changed his life forever.
“I have killed 12 children. I slaughtered two entire families. I bombed their entire house.”
He says with a heavy heart and a stern face.
“What would you do if you killed 12 children?” he asks me.
“I would probably kill myself” I answered.
He acknowledges my answer with deep, powerful eyes as one understanding the severity and weight of the actions.
“I think I saw our mother Rachel before I started shooting. She asked me to stop and not fire” he recalls. Biblical Rachel was Jacob’s wife.
“She was wearing all white, and I remember seeing her clearly…but that didn't stop us from firing. I will never forget that.” he recalls in guilt and shame, trying to stay focused in the moment.
“The same people that told me to fire then, are still in power now” Alex adds on.
Over a decade later, the same Yoav Gallant was fired as the Secretary of Defense during the bloody aftermath of the October 7’th massacre. Leaving an estimate of 50,000 Palestinians dead.
“We have to change something. We have to stop killing people. It doesn't work”.
Alex Aronsky was born in a Soviet controlled Kiev in 1989. He made “Aliyah” (Pilgrimage) with his family at the early age of 3. To this day, the same country he fought for does not even recognize him as a Jew. At times, he feels like a second and even third class citizen.
As many eastern european and ex-soviet block Jews are not recognized because of the shift in Jewish lineage throughout the diaspora. During the Lenin-Stalin and post WWII era’s the Soviet jews moved the hereditary lineage to the Fathers, rather the mothers…who were sought out to be “Sovietized” with crude acts of violence.
Throughout Jewish history, the fluctuation between the father or mother holding the hereditary lineage has changed several times due to constant persecution.
Only now, he has begun to receive partial economic support after years of battling with mental illness as result of the trauma while serving in the IDF.
His service in the IDF is not the only reason he is struggling. Years after his discharge, while living in the city of Ashkelon (21 kilometers from Gaza), he was eventually forced to leave and become a refugee. returning to his childhood city of Eilat in southern Israel…after losing many friends and practically living in a warzone. “The missiles were falling so rapidly, the alarm system would sometimes not even sound. That’s how frequent the drops were” he informs me.
He would wake up and see his neighbors dead…friends and relatives that he made around the neighborhood while walking his 2 dogs, laying in a pile of rubble for hours, until anyone came.
“The military and emergency services eventually started to break down” he continues. “The drops were so frequent, the damage to property, roadways and death was so high…we were eventually simply abandoned without any electricity or internet”.
“I would simply sit in the dark for nights on end, having only the sirens and bombs to listen to” recalls Alex. Not a reality most people would expect from a “First World Superpower” like Israel.
The past 4 years have been hell for Alex. “Its been the worst” he says with a tired tone. “I never imagined it could be so bad when I was young…why even grow up?” he asks cynically.
I’m not only writing this article and interviewing him…yet have also been his friend for over 15 years. I have personally seen his mental state diminish. From a strong, active and hard working individual to a depressed, confused and defeated young man.
“I think you might have been to 30-40 funerals these past few years” I suggest to him.
“Maybe even more than that, I cant even remember…we have lost so many people. I have lost so many people” he morbidly states.
One of the people that Alex lost was Yotam Haim. Whom he knew from the Heavy Metal groups and scene in Israel. It was tragedy over tragedy as Yotam was shot mistakenly by IDF soldiers, escaping his kidnappers after shelling and running towards the forces. Waving a white flag and wearing nothing but underwear. A completely, heart crushing death.
The late Yotam Haim ז”ל
Do you think you are an evil person? I ask Alex.
“I am not necessarily evil, yet I have done horrible things that cannot be measured or atoned for. My soul will be tainted forever with the blood I have spilled”.
“Yet you were 19 and serving in the military of a democratic country, fulfilling orders. You are nothing like our enemies, the terrorists that rape women, slaughter and burn infants…” I responded.
“I’m not the one to take the Nuremberg defense (Nazi) What kind of coward will say “I was just taking orders”. I want to be accountable for my actions. As my commanders should be. This isn’t a game…” Alex answers with conviction.
“I am, like them. We have both done the same thing. Yet simply with different means. The outcome is the same. Death of the innocent. Nights in Rubble.” Alex says.
“Its not the same thing…” I take offence to the comparison.
“It is. Its the same thing.” he says bravely.
How gentle and fragile is our world, when a 19 year old boy needs to become a murderer in order to serve his country in it’s battle for freedom. The soul of a 19 year old that wanted merely to experience life, explore the world and follow his dreams…only to become a 30 year old bedridden with nightmares, guilt and depression that even make him physically ill.
“I’m not in a good place at all. The solitude, the medication, the beers and weed…its not the best.” he speaks of himself. “But I am going to finish a biohazard driving course and hopefully get a full time job being a driver,” he adds.
Alex has always been an active guy. Ever since I met him he has had several different jobs, mostly in construction and IT. Many girlfriends and a rich social life. All that has been deduced to almost nothing today.
A brilliant mind that speaks at least 3 languages. We would talk about existentialism, science, economy and I could always learn something from him. He reads much more than I do and while teaching me of Isaac Asimov, our conversations and hang outs would mostly take place in the infinity of space. We enjoyed each others company, because nothing and no one was there to say “Hey, slow down…I don't understand what you're saying or meaning…” while we let our intellect and raw humor run freely.
“Of Course it haunts me. I cant stand here and say that I'm not fearful for the fate of my soul. I have done horrible things.” he maturely infers.
“Well, that clearly shows that you do have a conscience. What true murderers lack psychopathically, clinically. You are empathetic, making you human as you understand the severity of your actions. I don't think Hamas fighters share that sentiment, as they dance and celebrate the death of innocents, while you crumble under the shame and remorse of them” I attempt to refute his claims.
He clearly agrees, but has hardship in admitting any valor or pride of what he took part of.
While a true sociopath would shine in glee, after claiming so many lives.
A very thin line to tread on. Neither being able to live with your actions or having any acknowledgment from your peers, that you truly did the right thing.
While thousands if not tens of thousands of young Israelis eliminate “the enemy” generationally.
The “Top Dogs” are revered to in society. Some are granted advancements, land and tax breaks when they return to civil life. They get the hottest girls with all the perks. Not celebrated as murderers like our enemies, yet as warriors returned from battle.
Not Alex. He is not even recognized as suffering from CPTSD by the military.
“I just want to hear from them, that serving them and their orders, hasn’t compromised my well being. If anyone over there has the balls to admit it. I just want them to cop to it. Say it to my face”. Is what he wants.
While time passes and the war intensifies, new generations are coming up in young Israel.
Speaking of peace with the enemy is considered weak and treacherous.
The minds and souls of the younger generations are being pushed further to the right and extremism, as a result of Hamas’s October 7’th surprise attack.
Something snapped in the Israeli mentality. One of the most moral and patient armies in the world, started to feel so used, gullible and certainly outplayed. The potent merciful aspects of Judaism were replaced with vigilant militance. Nobody wants to be humane anymore, because humility in the middle east is considered vulnerability that has given room to attack. Merely speaking of peace with the Palestinians, can cause social alienation these days.
“Setting fire to live babies…is not the same as firing a shell from inside a tank” I say again and try to console Alex’s stern conviction.
But Alex cannot admit that, not without someone giving him any kind of affirmation for it all.
“Something needs to change. Death serves no one.” Alex reiterated.
“The perpetuation of violence is such a stupid cycle, and there is no way out of it” he says.
Courtesy of Alex Aronsky - Alex in service
This is the first part of an ongoing series of Interviews with Mr.Aronsky.
If you have any questions or remarks, please send e-mail to thedogtor@gmail.com
